Splintered Trees, Perfect Forest
by Shiva Darkwater
Summary: And one shall never be rid of the secrets in one’s heart... (CidVincent)


**Author**: Shiva Darkwater | **Fandom**: Final Fantasy VII | **Rating**: PG-13 | **Summary**: And one shall never be rid of the secrets in one's heart. | **Disclaimer**: Final Fantasy VII is not mine but Squaresoft's. I'm just a fanfic writer with too much time on my hands. | **Author's Notes**: Another Vincent fic… Apparently he's the only FFVII character my mind can get a somewhat firm grasp on. And yes. Feel the Cid and Vincent love. | **Dedication**: To Anna, my one true Cid/Vincent friend. I'm glad I met her.

Being held within his arms I am reminded of the past. An unfair comparison I know; that one filled with so much strength and light can lead me to think of the depths of darkness and weakness.

Cid has given me everything that he has been physically and mentally able to give. I thank him for that from the bottom of my black, emotionless heart. I don't know how he was able to melt the coldness inside of me. Perhaps it was the ice that was begging for his fire that released me from the torment. But another torment strikes me still.

I've never did tell him about what had happened thirty years ago, trapped in the lower catacombs of the Shinra mansion in Nibelhiem; ensnared in the madness that had only begun. I was young and impertinent, caught completely unaware of the insanity that was the young Professor Hojo.

Cid knows about the few experiments I had been under. He knows of the early stages of Mako treatments that I had been tested with, the replacement of my left arm. He knows of the Beast that Hojo injected inside of me. But I've never told him everything. Some things I cannot even tell myself.

The bindings I could handle. I was a Turk, one of the greatest at the time. I'm sure that even now my training and fieldwork has been more extensive than those Neo Turks, the ones that President Shinra assigned after the terror in Nibelhiem. I doubt they would have been able to see the things that I have seen and remain mentally stable.

After all… I hadn't been able to leave a sane man either.

I remember the nights of silence and restless peace when I was left to my self. I would plan endlessly for a way to escape when my head was cleared enough to think coherently. Yet he always caught on and stopped me at the last second, as if he knew exactly what I had planned to begin with.

Eventually I learned to stop fighting back, to block off my emotions that welled inside of me; to surrender my body to him, for it would be less painful than surrendering my soul. I have always been a man of pride, even to this day.

Being locked in the coffin was hardly the prime horror that I had to endure, but it was the longest. The nightmares that plagued me; the Beast that ravaged me; the need that was constantly suppressed; the ice that froze my heart…

It seemed as if eternity had passed before I saw the light of day again. I had thought I would never see it again, tossed away as the scientist's broken doll into the garbage to never be seen again. Yet when I again opened my eyes I was faced with the sun gazing right at me. The brightest light of them all; Cid Highwind… 

I had never thought to find this secret swell of happiness. I had never expected to feel again at all. How many years had I been locked away with nothing but the Beast who would tear at my every limb, the cells of Jenova and the blood of Mako that would eat away at my insides as if acid?

Yet I had found him, or he had found me, and all of my unwept tears were brushed away by his gentle hands. All of my doubts were consoled by his loving words. I had nothing to fear. He had promised me that he would always protect me and though my pride is still strong, I couldn't help but submit. Years of isolation and madness and one must cling to whatever happens to be there. Cid was there. Cid will always be there…

"Hey… you awake?"

Entwined in a pair of warm, strong arms Vincent raised his head from its perch on a tanned shoulder. "Mm…"

A smile crossed Cid's lips then, moving an arm to brush dark bangs out of Vincent's sleepy red eyes. "You're the most amazing thing that's happened to me… do you know that?" His smile was nervous as he said that, embarrassed by saying something that was rooted so deeply in his heart, yet he couldn't help but speak it aloud.

"Flattery will get you nowhere Highwind…" he was too tired and felt too tranquil to argue too much. 

Shifting closer against Cid's chest, Vincent gave a small smile of his own. The fingers of his right hand brushed against the other's collarbone in his own form of embarrassment. He felt his own need to state something personal in response, yet kept it to himself. 

Another secret in his heart; _I love you._


End file.
